The worst good players: Salah, Mbappe, Haaland, Kane and more

 There's an endless list of answers to that question, but if we try to simplify the game down to its component parts, there are six basic actions that make up the majority of what a soccer player does in any given game: They run, they pass, they dribble, they shoot, they jump, and they defend. The beauty of the sport is that each great player is great because of a different mix of these inputs.

Someone like, say, Arsenal's Bukayo Saka is above-average at all of those things. He might not be the best in the world at any one, but he is an elite player because he's simply good at running, passing, dribbling, shooting, jumping, and especially defending. Back in March, I declared PSG's Ousmane Dembélé the best player in the world for a moment because he was doing pretty much all of those things at an elite level, with both feet.

Other players, though, become world-class and help their teams win lots of points while neglecting one of these six areas -- or even actively being bad at one. And today, that's who we're going to focus on.

Among the select group of players capable of starting for Champions League-winning clubs, who stinks at passing? Who can't run? Who won't defend? Who shouldn't dribble? Who needs to ignore the crowd when they yell "shoot"? And who is useless in the air?

Can't run: Harry Kane, Bayern Munich

Somewhere around the 2018 World Cup, Harry Kane lost his explosiveness.

Before then, he fit right in with Tottenham's physical, beat-you-up high press under manager Mauricio Pochettino. He was electric on the counter, and he was so powerful that he'd easily create his own shots around the penalty area, too. In the 2017-18 season, he attempted 5.3 shots per game and he received 7.6 progressive passes.

He hasn't been close to either number since. This year with Bayern Munich, he's down to 3.9 shots and 5.3 progressive passes received. That, too, is with a much better and much more dominant team than Spurs were.

We still probably don't talk enough about how Kane completely reinvented his game in order to remain a world-class player. The avalanche of shots and runs into space went away, and he replaced all that value by taking shots from closer to the goal, and by dropping deeper and playing dangerous passes for his teammates to run onto.

Now, at age 31, he's barely running at all. Per data from PFF FC, Kane is sprinting 14.34 times per 90 minutes in the Bundesliga -- 41st among 45 qualified center forwards. In the Champions League, he made 12.83 sprints per 90 -- last among the 43 center forwards who played at least 450 minutes.

With Bayern Munich clinching the Bundesliga over the weekend, perhaps Kane can provide a lesson to anyone else who is haunted by their own incredibly specific curse: it won't end until you stop trying to run away.

Can't jump: Kylian Mbappe, Real Madrid

Since the start of last season, 19 forwards have scored at least 30 goals across Europe's Big Five top leagues. All of those players have won at least 15 aerial duels and attempted at least 41.

Except for Kylian Mbappe. He's won three headers and only attempted 10 aerial duels. Despite not suffering any major injuries and playing most of the season as Real Madrid's nominal center forward, these are all the headed shots he's attempted in 2024-24:

Now, he's still had an amazing individual season -- the best in Europe, by at least some metrics. And "jumping" is easily the least valuable skill or action of the six we're talking about today.

But Mbappe's complete inability to challenge for anything in the air is representative of his larger issues as a winning player at the highest level: his presence requires a certain set of tactics, and a specific profile of teammates.